Thursday, May 03, 2007

About Writing

I'm not sure if I like to write. I just feel that I can express myself (and thoughts) easily in written forms. When speaking I tend to mixed up, little bit stuttering, and say the wrong words at the right time, the right words at a wrong time, and even say the wrong words at the wrong time (doubles the humiliation :-). With writing, situations are different. I believe that during the process of writing, I (accidentally) rearrange my jumbled, unsystematic thinking into a little bit organized form, a skill which probably comes from instinct (I believe instinct is not exclusive for animal :-)
I've spent 18 years of formal education, which most of the years includes teaching me how to write. Since the first grade of elementary school, junior high, senior high, through the last months of my university time, they (teachers and lecturers) told me to write and write and write. The ultimate achievement (to my caliber) was my bachelor degree thesis. I wrote about 80 pages of bullshit (doesn't necessarily meant that what I wrote there was not true), I did it with all my might, all heart and soul, 100 percent effort (I wasn't born with sparkling mind) and I was satisfied, very satisfied indeed. After having spent 4.5 years in learning theory (which at that time and sometimes up till now I believe has little or no contribution to my successful or unsuccessful working life), this thesis writing was the gate to get me off this circle of formal study, the long and winding road to working life. I finished my thesis in about 4 months but it took me two academic terms. To be honest, I saw it merely as a means to graduate and get a diploma. I wrote about linguistic, about grammar, but do I really care about grammar, do I? I know, that's a question with a big question mark that I should ask myself. I didn't care, though I know pretty well that actually I should (or must) care, at least for my own sake. Nonetheless. I passed, and graduated somnambulantly (a word that I create :-). But even after the ultimate achievement, I did not pick up any writing skill at all. I'm bad in almost all aspect of writing. Accuracy (grammar), clarity, developing and organizing ideas, I totally flunked.
Apart from that, I have to be grateful that I like to read. I haven't read a lot, but I read quite a lot of good writing. I read the works of people with excellent writing skills, witty (in written form), sharp and yet fun to read. I envied those people, having the ability to use the perfect words at the perfect time, sometime with ease. While I even still struggling with the monstrous Academic Writing that my wife confronts me with.
I'm tired of my incompetence, inability to speak and write clearly, systematically and accurately. So, few hours ago, I picked up a very thick book about writing that I bought for my wife months ago. I start to read about writing. What it is all about, the skills, the talent and the effort. I also polish up or to be exact, re-build my accuracy.
I cannot promise anyone, not even myself that my writings will be good, no. But hopefully, I will at least improve and that, I think my friend, should be just around the corner..^_^

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